POEMS ABOUT ONION BAGELS HAS MOVED!

Here's an incredibly bad haiku to commemorate this historic occasion:

Please redirect links:
poemsaboutonionbagels
.com is now up!

to us

we get along so famously,
like we're on access hollywood;
our conversation is so rich,
it could get thieved by robin hood

we're flirty, fun and fabulous,
like all those gay dudes on queer eye;
our chemistry is full of bangs,
like mr. wizard screwed bill nye

if he could feel the way we do,
keanu reeves would just say whoa;
we match each other perfectly,
like onion flakes and bagel dough

i caught her crying again

though she cleared her throat,

and sleeved

her tissue

i knew

the moment i walked in

her face was blotched as an onion bagel

and her eyes

as empty as holes

Our Top Story

Could just eating breakfast murder your dog?

I gasp at the TV, jaw hung agog

Groceries are sending our kittens to heaven!

Will your pet be next? Find out at eleven!

Harrowed, I stroke at my furrowing brow,

Searching for ways to avoid this somehow;

What could be causing these untimely deaths?

My pulse speeds to pace my quickening breaths

Too harried to sit, too nervous to eat,

My bagel untouched I let plunge to my feet;

Hour after hour I pace rings on the rug,

Damn that reporter's interest-piquing mug!

I watch all the game shows, the sitcoms and then

An exposé on cream cheese industry men;

Finally that local news theme music comes:

The dee de-dee dees, the dum du-dum dums

Smiles and makeup and teeth ear to ear,

This is what I've waited so long to hear!

If you love your pet, there are steps you must take!

We'll say what they are, right after this break!

Blast it! How long these attention whores stall!

I fling the remote, and flinch as its fall

Is broken by Fluffy, asleep on the floor;

Oh please be okay! I beg and implore

Peering much closer, I see what I dread

On top of its shoulders, and below its head;

The bagel I'd dropped has turned hard as a puck,

An oniony noose, 'round its neck now stuck

The anchor's voice pierces my ears with a chill:

Get food off the ground, 'cause bagels can kill!

breakfast on the balcony

this brown paper bag

is warm to the touch

fingertips tickled

by hot steam and such

the heat gets so great

that i'm losing my clutch —

farewell, onion bagel

i loved you so much

Suspicion

The bagel tournament ran long today

so the finalists will finish tomorrow;

Onion remains the odds-on favorite

but the wagers tell a different story

If onion awakens stale as a stone

in tupperware riddled with pinholes,

The poppyseed posse placing those bets

will sure have some explaining to do

considering an absence

circles concentric

hole within a whole

a fullness

around an emptiness

replacing one with the other

inside me

from crust to bread

to crust to air,

layered like the bulbs

that flavor it

it is many things

yet it is defined by what it is not