I usually say it just can't be true
When half my bagel is chewed up and gone
I scream and throw objects out on the lawn
When half my bagel's been shoved down my sac
I would do anything to get it back
When half my bagel succumbs to my bite
I weep onion tears the rest of the night
Yet deep down in my stomach's heart I know
When half of it's gone, there's still half to go
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